indedadvocates

Just another WordPress.com site

Archive for the tag “leadership”

Social Networking & The Mama Bear

Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold, pease porridge in the pot, nine days old.

Some like it hot, some like it cold, some like it in the pot, nine days old.

I like my porridge hot.

And why wait 9 days to tell this story?

After a long 3 days, I woke to discover that my 10-year-old had a facebook account.

I can tell you right now, that I have counted to 10, then 30and one hundred. Rest easy, I’ve deleted her account – including the hideous picture of mom, fast asleep, titled “Always Sleeping.” My little sister, the only one having any sense to comment: “She’s going to be mad at you. ;P”

Half sleeping, half eavesdropping on breakfast conversation, I was seething.

I blog, facebook, tweet, and text but when my parental rights are sidestepped by a pair of uncles, Mama Bear comes out to play.

Social networking has its place (with purpose or not) in the lives of  many, including the comfortable palms, thumbs, ear canals, and pupils of my household. So whilst I confront the culprits with a mere question, DENIAL is not a river in Egypt, Denial is the muse for this post. As a mother and educator, I want this to be a teachable moment for anyone who’s interested, or the victim of brothers without children (sounds a lot like, wars without borders).

Crushing dreams.

My daughter is crushed that I’ve single-handedly erased her mini-facebook adventure. As I deleted her posts, pictures, and information, I was equally devastated. Mostly because she probably had more friends in 24 hours than I had in a week. So why should I feel guilt over being her parent and protector? I believe that social networking takes some immense responsibility and sometimes, that comes with learned lessons. I’d like to spare her some heart-ache & embarrassment. My teenage sons have illegal accounts and on more than one occasion, I’ve had them delete their accounts, only to see them merely re-activated or to have opened a new account.

What’s a mom to do?

Create a partnership with freedom to explore.

As a single-parent, trying to maintain the head-of-household status, sometimes it’s a compromise. They have facebook accounts created under the guidance of cousins, friends, and uncles. They also get to friend mom – not a choice, a privilege. With inappropriate posts or comments, they know they may suffer the consequence of a comment or intimate conversation with their lifetime stalker – you got it, mom. A price they willingly pay as it comes with being connected to friends so they might tell each other when…

they’ve had the worst cafeteria lunch,

how cute or swagged they look in a cheesy bathroom photo.

update a relationship status every other week,

or to have mom butt in on a 27 comment conversation to say…

“Go to bed or I will deactivate your phone. Love you.”

(I personally, love that one.)

Link in. Unplug.

I once walked into Safeway as a passerby stared at my son, then commented – “Nowadays, they’re coming out born like that.”

I didn’t quite catch her drift until she laughed and clarified that my son was plugged in to technology by his thumbs, eyes, and ears. Sure I took offense (not to her, but my lack of parenting), but it also had me stopping in my tracks to have him “unplug” so we could have a conversation while we shopped for our groceries. Most times when I am irrational, it takes some agitation before I gather my wits and think about how to creatively approach a situation.

With social networking, it involves ensuring that you have developed a relationship and alternate ways to communicate with your children or any member you connect with. Today, I sat with my daughter and asked her how she got her account. Lucky for me, we have built trust without fear. She did not hesitate to explain every detail, while I listened. I’d already scolded my brothers, indicating my permission was not given and they should know better. It took me all of 10 minutes to deactivate her account and tell her what I was willing to do. With a smile on her face and pep in her thumbs (ipod), she took to searching for “family social networks” and “social networking for kids.” We came across this link to acceptable sites for kids. While I don’t vouch for any of them, I gave some responsibility back to my daughter to explore them and see which she might like to try.

She has picked imbee, yoursphere, and scuttlepad as potential kid-friendly social networks. It’s actually exciting! We sat together and set up user accounts, with parental access. imbee requires a $1 verification fee, I was glad to pay because we are doing this to encourage safe risk-taking and exploring of technology as a resource. Many of these sites will allow her to blog, create small networks of friends, and be expressive. All great attributes I encourage her to develop and refine. She is creative, an amazing artist-musician, conversationist, and loves to laugh! She’s shy. Yea, I know, how does my description of her equal shy? It takes her time to be comfortable and nurture her spirit to be her total self around people. She’s like every other young, adolescent, coming into her own.

Choose.

I want my daughter and sons to know that they have choices. With their choices, comes added responsibility. But I also have a role to nurture their curiosities, inspire them to explore their opportunities, and guide them as they seek my advice or live to learn that as a parent, I will always be involved – to an extent. I choose today, to embrace technology as a resource and build an understanding with my daughter, that she too, has a choice. For now, it just doesn’t include facebook. 😉

To each his own.

Pease porridge hot.

Advertisements

Women in Leadership; Inspiring Women Towards Leadership

What are your thoughts about Women in Leadership? Take the poll before you read this blog, watch the video then post your thoughts.

Inspiring Women Towards Leadership

Social Good for 2012

How many of our modern-day heroes are women?  Media and society project a male dominant hero, but that’s not to say that the qualities of great leadership have not presented themselves through and for women.

Leadership is a natural quality in so many women that has not been nurtured to its full potential.  The capacity for women in leadership is exemplified through accessible personalities like Hillary Clinton, Sheryl Sandberg and the likes of the financially influential members of society who advocate for great causes that include Angelina Jolie and Jenny McCarthy. All have a desire to utilize their knowledge, talents, and influences to create change and opportunity.

As my contribution to changing the world in 2012, I would like to assist in creating direct opportunities that assist women in nurturing their skills of leadership through avenues of advocacy, committee representation, engaging in government & politics, and organizing community efforts. This can be accomplished through the sharing of knowledge, collaborative efforts amongst women & men with specific talents under a shared responsibility to nurture, restore, guide and inspire women towards leadership.

Through this contribution to Social Good in 2012, my dream of starting an umbrella organization called NRGI-1 (Nurture, Restore, Guide & Inspire-1) will be rooted with women building capacity for leadership. I have long sat on the bench, dutifully filling roles of mother, community member, and contributor inside the invisible lines. I am committing to painting the world with shades of women whose collective talents, aspirations, and qualities will present opportunities to enhance and drive leadership to its greatest potential.

My goal is to engage in activities or reading, develop networks of people, plan events or provide presentations, and gather feedback that will provide opportunities for women to nurture their talents, restore confidence, and guide and inspire each potential leader to share their experiences with 1 other; individual, community, cause, or personal commitment. I welcome and challenge you to undertake this same commitment, however large or small, in your own networks and communities. Together, we can change the world.

Sahmie Sunshine Wytewa

nrgi1@yahoo.com

“Every society needs educated people, but the primary responsibility of educated people is to bring wisdom back into the community and make it available to others so that the lives they are leading make sense.”

from Red Earth, White Lies by Vine Deloria, Jr

Post Navigation